George Parker: Things aren’t as bad as you think… They’re worse!

Taking part in a recent PSFK Conference, my presentation concluded with an audience discussion session. The first comment from someone in the crowd was, “With all the years you’ve been in the ad business, you must have seen many changes.” I was about to explain that I’d seen hundreds, but stopped and thought for a minute, then replied that in truth, I’d only seen two radical changes: firstly, the absorption of just about all the major agencies into four global ad conglomerates, and secondly, the birth of new media (- both of which have totally changed advertising in the last 25/30 years). Yet, in spite of this, most Big Dumb Agencies (or BDAs), continue to be run like an 18th century Opera Buffo, making less profit than your average ice cream vendor, whilst turning out unadulterated crap.

This long held belief of mine was reinforced while doing the research for my upcoming book, The Ubiquitous Persuaders, a fifty year update on The Hidden Persuaders, Vance Packard’s 1957 classic. The primary reason we’ve arrived at this state of affairs is because the BDAs and the holding companies they belong to are publicly traded companies, so their major concern is making quarterly numbers that hopefully will keep the criminals on Wall Street happy. Which makes you wonder why Interpublic is still in business.

Perhaps it is best summed up by the CFO of a once respected BDA, who reputedly said a couple of years ago, “Fuck the work, it’s all about the money!” Yet at the same time, these dinosaurs are desperately trying to jump aboard the New Media Express before it leaves the station. They invariably attempt do this, not by growing their expertise in-house, but by buying up specialist companies who have already made a name in the black arts. Having done this, they then proceed to suck the creative juices out of these unfortunates (whose principals take their millions and go off and start another desirable property for the BDAs to lust after) until the reason for the original purchase is long forgotten. Eventually, the hot company is reduced to a stone cold parody of its former self and is then cast aside in favor of the next “digital du jour.” The BDA continues sailing towards the glistening icebergs on the horizon whilst deluding itself that a couple of $3 million Super Bowl spots they can then do a YouTube viral thingy with will solve everything. I shall continue to explore this insanity in excruciating detail in the coming weeks, because for some unexplained reason, psfk have asked me to do a regular rant about it. Pour yourselves a stiff drink and standby. Cheers/George

George Parker is a guest columnist for psfk.com. He the perpetrator of adscam.typepad.com, which is without doubt, one of the most foul and annoying, piss & vinegar ad blogs on the planet. He is the author of MadScam and his next book, The Ubiquitous Persuaders, will be available on Amazon in two weeks. He will be promoting the crap out of it in coming weeks. Pour yourself, etc, etc.