Do Not Attempt to Adjust Your Superhetrodyne Receiver. We are in Charge!

Do Not Attempt to Adjust Your Superhetrodyne Receiver. We are in Charge!
George Parker
  • 16 june 2009

It’s interesting that just as the unwashed TV watching masses are coping with the drama of going completely digital, within days the annual opera buffo show known in the trade as the “Cannes Lions” will take place.

As the Adverati sit through screenings of the latest TV spots Brazil, Dubai and Timbuktu’s finest have come up with (all of which for some reason seem to have been shot with an English sound track) Joe Bob will be kicking the shit out of his ten year old Wal-Mart set, ‘cos that Godamn converter box doesn’t work with his bent wire, coat hanger antenna. He probably might be wondering why the hell he has to go through all this shit when everything was fine before, and he could get all the NASCAR and Pro-Wresting and Monster Truck stuff he ever wanted on that trusty coat hangar. Obviously no one told him the major telecoms and Internet heavies needed all that extra analog bandwidth so they could provide, and charge us for, even more services we probably don’t need. And as their lobbyists have a shitload more money than Joe Bob’s, they got what they wanted. By the way, did they ever pay for it?

Meanwhile, back in Cannes, the ad hoi polloi will mingle on the Croisette while sipping their twenty five dollar Mimosas and discussing the effectiveness of that rather “noir” spot by Director du Jour “Kassar.” You know the one which takes an intriguing Felliniesque approach to the resolution of mankind’s forever troubling question… “Should I SuperSize that Whopper?” As to whether or not it deserved the Diamond encrusted, Molybdenum Lion, that will be argued well into the night as they move on to the Interpublic party aboard the Christina O.

I suppose we should not be surprised to hear that entries are down twenty percent and attendance will be down forty percent at Cannes this year. I mean, the cost of a single entry would keep Joe Bob in Bud Light for a year. But once the economy turns around (in about ten years!) it will be business as usual for all the usual suspects. Even more categories will be introduced, not for the claimed pretence that this is more representative of the diversity of the business now, but because it will generate more fees.

By that time Joe Bob might have sorted out his signal problems, but no doubt we will be on the verge of going from digital to Kryptonite beams, ‘cos the Global/Telecommunications/Corporation, which used to be known as Google, needs the bandwidth for some undisclosed purpose. And as the Global/Telecommunications/Corporation also happens to be the government, they will get exactly what they want.

Joe Bob is fucked.

George Parker is a guest columnist for He is the perpetrator of, which is without doubt, one of the most foul and annoying, piss & vinegar ad blogs on the planet. He is the author of MadScam and his new book, The Ubiquitous Persuaders, which is currently setting the ether ablaze (and which you can order now on Amazon). He will continue to relentlessly promote the crap out of it until you are forced to stab yourself in the eyes with knitting needles.


How Indiegogo Is Becoming An Adult Product Destination

Home september 23, 2016

Watch This Fire Pit Dance Along To Your Favorite Song

Music City Fire is a system that is designed to flicker in time to ambient music

Automotive september 23, 2016

Slick GPS Navigator Gives Directions To Moped Riders

This small, round device attaches to a sideview mirror to display maps for safer traveling


Get PSFK's Related Report: Future of Automotive

See All
Home september 23, 2016

A Clock That Beautifully Manages Your Information Overload

The wall-mounted timekeeper is made to help people maintain focus and stay up to date with their appointments

Arts & Culture september 23, 2016

Performance Piece Blends Dancers Into Folds Of Light

The work provides commentary on the increasing connection between programmed and analog dimensions

Related Expert

Nuala O’Connor

Internet Law, Policy, Advocacy

Design & Architecture september 23, 2016

Design Firm Adapts Childhood Homes For Unemployed Young Adults

The studio has unveiled three prototypes of transformed living spaces for people forced to move back in with their families

Health september 23, 2016

These Chocolate Squares Claim To Reverse The Aging Process

A group of researchers from Cambridge University have developed a candy bar that promises to give you a youthful glow

Cities september 23, 2016

Food-Producing Architecture Competition Seeks To Better Feed Cities

A design challenge in Copenhagen highlights the need and beauty of urban farming


Future Of Automotive
Scenarios Driving The Digital Transformation Of An Industry

PSFK Op-Ed september 21, 2016

Everything I Know About Leadership I Learned Teaching 7th Grade Math

Bree Groff, Managing Director at NOBL NYC, shares her secrets for knowing your employees and enabling a team

PSFK Labs september 22, 2016

The Future Of Work: Why Innovation Is Every Employee’s Job

PSFK Labs sits down with management at Johnson & Johnson to learn how the company comes up with their next ‘big idea’

Health september 23, 2016

Wearable Monitors Sun Exposure To Prevent Sunburn

The clip monitors UV rays to make sure you're not receiving too much sunlight

Op-Ed september 23, 2016

Productivity Expert: The Magic Of The Five-Hour Workday

Stephan Aarstol, Founder of Tower Paddle Boards, explains why the modern notion of office hours needs to evolve

Culture september 23, 2016

This Exhibition’s Crowning Jewel Is An 18k Gold-Plated Toilet

The piece, titled 'America,' is meant to raise questions about the country's wealth inequality

Culture september 23, 2016

Match Up With Dates On Tinder Based On Your Music Preferences

A new partnership with Spotify lets people pair up based on shared tastes in artists

Entertainment september 23, 2016

Capture, Cut Up, And Configure Your World In 360 Degrees

To meet a booming 360 and VR video-capturing industry, a multimedia software company bolstered its media editing suite for 360-video creation


Future Of Work
Cultivating The Next Generation Of Leaders

Advertising september 23, 2016

These Trucks Drove Around In Circles For 24 Hours To Keep Time

The giant ticking clock was created by 14 Scania vehicles in a deserted airfield

Advertising september 23, 2016

Buy Movie Tickets Directly From Your Facebook Profile

The new feature is part of a campaign from Fandango to further imbed social media into the ticket vendor's digital presence

Asia september 23, 2016

Co-Working Space Brings The Calming Atmosphere Of Nature Indoors

An architectural firm in China has designed a new type of shared office that prioritizes the natural environment

No search results found.