George Parker: Please Don’t Tell my Mother I Work in Advertising!

Yeah, so the headline is an “homage” to Jacques Seguela’s 1979 book… Please don’t tell my mother I work in advertising, tell her I play the piano in a brothel. Amongst his other notable quotes are “Everyone has a Rolex. If you don’t have a Rolex by the time you reach 50, then you have clearly failed in your life.” And, “The consumer is a child who must be reawakened every day to buy his toys.” Ha, you can’t escape the fact that these consummation de fromage, boire de Chablis, singes de surrender, certainly have a way with le mot!

So, what the fuck brought on this sudden over-the-top Francophile frenzy? Actually, it was the new issue of Creativity magazine profiling the current and been around forever crop of creative heavies, from the pubescent twenty one year olds, barely out of “Portfolio School,” to the gnarly old farts who’ve been around almost as long as me.

Speaking of gnarly, the magazine points out that Lee Clow is no longer the Creative Director of Chiat Day. He is now something called the “Global Director of Media Arts”… Whatever the fuck that is? Or, in his own words… “I don’t call what we do advertising any more. I call what we do “Media Arts.” I believe everything a brand does is media and the art of telling stories using everything from the Internet to painting on walls is the broad definition of our future. Advertising has always been about ideas.”

Oh yes, dead right Lee, except you’ve got it arse about face… Advertising has always been about selling, and it usually takes a great idea to execute it well, whether it be painting on walls or talking to cretins on MySpace. But, the one thing you should never, ever stop calling it, is advertising. Don’t be ashamed, it’s the second oldest profession in the world, and yeah, it’s also probably the second most reviled profession in the world after politics. But hey, we’ll be around longer than cockroaches.

That’s why I loved Dave Droga’s piece in the same issue of Creativity (full disclosure, here. Dave’s a mate and I’ve done shit for Droga 5. So, get over it!) He says… “A lot of people think we shouldn’t call what we do advertising anymore. The principal of what we do and why clients hire us is still the same. Technology has changed, consumer behavior has changed, but the fundamentals have remained the same.” Damn fucking right Dave. I also like the fact that he also has the balls to own up to the odd fuck up like Honeyshed. But, more power to him for at least trying something different. So, if anyone out there reading this wants to think they are in the story telling, social interaction, datametrics, Twitterifics, painting on walls business, you’re not, you’re in the advertising business. And if you don’t like it, start taking piano lessons, now.

George Parker is the perpetrator of adscam.typepad.com, without doubt, one of the most foul and annoying, piss & vinegar ad blogs on the planet. His new book, The Ubiquitous Persuaders, has just been published by Amazon and is currently setting the ether ablaze. He will continue to relentlessly promote the crap out of it until you are forced to stab yourself in the eyes with knitting needles.