George Parker: Money Can’t Buy You Love!

George Parker: Money Can’t Buy You Love!
George Parker
  • 4 august 2009

I sometimes have to laugh at how we in the communications industry, whether it be advertising, media, marketing, music, films, pop culture, whatever, actually have the temerity and chutzpa to think we have any kind of influence over what the great unwashed masses out there think about, spend their money on and do with their miserable lives. Listen up guys. We don’t.

In spite of all the grandiose claims made by BDA’s and the increasingly “reality TV” driven, and hopelessly irrelevant cable networks, not to mention the oompaloompa, “blob” like growth of social media… The “Adverati” and their deep pockets clients have no control whatsoever.

Instead, the “cyber-borg-mind-meld” of twenty first century America is under the total control of Washington’s “K Street” lobbyists and the corporations that pay them. Take for example the current fracas over health care reform, and why in spite of the fact that at the last count, over seventy percent of Americans are desperately wanting to have something done about it, it will go nowhere. The $133 million in lobbying expenditures by health industry interests in the second quarter of 2009 alone — yes, that’s $133 million in three months – the most of any lobbying sector by far, according to the Center for Responsive Politics —sounds to me like it will knock on the fucking head the change America has in mind. And if you acknowledge that as we get closer to any kind of congressional action, this largesse to the pin stripe suited and tasseled loafer wearing wankers of the aforementioned K Street, will double or triple, you have to wonder how this kind of power can work so well in the political arena as distinct from the commercial one.

It’s simple. Political action committees, PR wankers, Spokesnozzles, or whatever, who represent amorphous “persons and communities of interest” can get away with a great deal more than ad agencies representing regular clients selling regular products can. Because these people can skirt around the edges of controversy and play on the unfounded fears of many people that would get regular agencies in deep, deep shit. I devote an entire chapter to this in my ground breaking, blockbuster tome… The Ubiquitous Persuaders. Buy it on Amazon right now, or whatever pathetic health insurance you have left will be canceled immediately because of a prior condition.

But back to my rambling premise. Why is it that over the years people have been able to sniff out the smoke and mirrors bullshit of the snake oil, smoke and mirrors salesmen of advertising, yet when it comes to politics, they fall for it hook, line and sinker, time and time again?

Perhaps it’s best exemplified by a guy from West Kentucky I heard interviewed on PBS Radio the other day. He’s been out of work for a year, his benefits are about to run out. His three kids are on Medicaid. But as he said, “I don’t want no socialized medicine, that’ll just benefit the coloreds and hurt the whites.” I guess you can’t buy that kind of brand loyalty. Unfortunately, you have to be born with it.

George Parker is the perpetrator of, without doubt, one of the most foul and annoying, piss & vinegar ad blogs on the planet. His new book, The Ubiquitous Persuaders, has just been published by Amazon and is currently setting the ether ablaze. He will continue to relentlessly promote the crap out of it until you are forced to stab yourself in the eyes with knitting needles.

ALSO: Come see George Parker in the flesh as he moderates a Good Ideas Salon on the subject of Advertising on August 20. Details and tickets: Good Ideas In Advertising


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