menu

George Parker: For Your Delectation and Edification, I Present “The Client of the Future”

George Parker: For Your Delectation and Edification, I Present “The Client of the Future”
Advertising

George Parker is the perpetrator of adscam.typepad.com. Every week he shares his opinions on the advertising world with PSFK.

George Parker
  • 10 november 2009


Last week I talked about the never ending bullshit we continually hear from people claiming to have created the next “Agency of the Future.” Whether it be based on Crowdsourcing, Enfatolytics or Anthropology, most are destined to fail because they are merely re-polishing the same old turd. The basic premises that agencies continue to hit clients over the head with, is that they are building brands, delivering a better ROI and engaging in a synergistic partnership to deliver long term results.

Which is all bullshit, because none of these things are actually what clients, deep down inside, want from their advertising agencies. They may not admit it when at the numerous marketing and advertising wankfests clients love to go to, as long as they are held at luxury hotels surrounded by golf courses and in an exotic location. But once they return to corporate headquarters in Boise, Idaho, it’s back to “When are those fuckers at the agency going to help us sell more shit?”

As the economy is destined to get worse before it gets better, and don’t give me that “The recession is over” bullshit, when one in six Americans are out of work, and these are the poor fuckers you expect to buy your made in China, Gucci loafers at Wal-Mart… Clients are increasingly getting antsy about having their marketing and advertising budgets produce concrete results. That’s why I said last week that any client with half a brain will soon come to the realization that if their agency is playing the “Brand Building” card, rather than delivering sales results, they are going to be in serious shit.

Check out any of the Web sites of the BDA’s, they are all still talking about branding, not selling, branding. One of the most pathetic examples is Ogilvy’s site. I would recommend the agency principals of that once great agency to sit down, pour a large single malt, fire up the gnarly pipe, and re-read the company founders classic book of FORTY SIX years ago, Confessions of an Advertising Man. Wherein he repeatedly says (As he did to me in person forty five years ago when I was fresh off the Queen Mary) “Advertising is all about selling.”

OK… Let’s get to the nub of this rant…

The “Client of the Future” will be the one who recognizes that they don’t necessarily have to go to an agency to get what they need… That’s why I said last week, any agency setting itself up as a “crowdsourcing” specialist, deserves all the shit that’s going to happen to them. Because even the dumbest of clients will soon realize they may as well cut out the middle man and deal directly with the content originators. Smart clients will also come to the conclusion that if they do want to work with an ad agency, it will be in their financial interests to work with one that is not a publicly traded company, let alone part of a conglomerate run by bean counters. They will insist that the agency they hire is capable of delivering a unique product in a variety of disciplines. They will select this agency without the benefit of agency search consultants, or multiple rounds of pitches over many long, expensive and wearisome months. This will require them to hire a real marketing CMO genius who has the balls to go with his gut and stick by his convictions. They will reward their agency partner handsomely and make working on their account the best thing this side of an orgasm.

Well, fuck. I can dream, can’t I?

George Parker is the perpetrator of adscam.typepad.com, which is without doubt, one of the most foul and annoying, piss & vinegar ad blogs on the planet. He is the author of MadScam and his new book, The Ubiquitous Persuaders, which is currently setting the ether ablaze (and which you can order now on Amazon). He will continue to relentlessly promote the crap out of it until you are forced to stab yourself in the eyes with knitting needles.

Trending

Machine Printer Uses Coffee Drips To Create Intricate Portraits

Arts & Culture
Technology december 2, 2016

Why Nest Doesn't Get The Holidays

PSFK founder reacts to the damaging effects of poor email marketing

Children december 2, 2016

Robots Could Be Joining Dubai’s Police Force In 2017

The real-life RoboCops can salute, shake hands and collect traffic fines

Trending

Get PSFK's Related Report: Future of Automotive

See All
Travel december 2, 2016

Parka Hides And Charges Portable Devices

Bolt is a jacket that lets people carry and charge their various electronics without the need for an outlet

Related Expert

Alick Varma

Financial Education

Food december 2, 2016

Yelp's New 'Yelfie' Feature Lets Diners Take Selfies

The update is designed to encourage people to attach a selfie when they share their experiences

Design & Architecture december 2, 2016

Build Your Own Savory Cheese Advent Calendar

A British food blogger has created a guide to building a different kind of holiday surprise

Fitness & Sport december 2, 2016

Floating Gym Concept In Paris Is Powered By Your Workout

The proposed design from Carlo Ratti Associati lets passengers ride a stationary bike as they travel through Paris along the Seine River

PSFK LABS REPORT

Future Of Retail 2017
Transformation Strategies For Customer-First Business
NEW

PSFK Op-Ed december 2, 2016

Customer Service Expert: Why Offline Retail Has Better Data Than Online Retail

Healey Cypher, Founder and CEO of Oak Labs, shares why we should be thinking about the physical store as an e-commerce site

PSFK Labs december 1, 2016

Retail Spotlight: Home Depot Reimagines How Employees Conduct Tasks

The home improvement retailer puts the customer first by initiating local fulfillment centers and simplifying freight-to-shelf inventory management

Syndicated december 2, 2016

What Does The Future Of Android Look Like In A World With The Pixel?

Google’s decision to make its own phone might have looked like a blow to the likes of Samsung but the reality is much more interesting

Fashion december 2, 2016

Alexander McQueen Designs A 3D-Printed Umbrella

3D-printed fashion arrives in time for the winter season

Work december 2, 2016

Why Training Associates To Be Advocates Is Key To Retail Success

In our Future of Retail 2017 report, PSFK Labs discusses strategies to prioritize customer service, which begins with associate advocates

Media & Publishing december 2, 2016

Netflix Creates Binge Candle To Celebrate A New Season Of Gilmore Girls

The streaming service developed a special layered candle that creates candle with episode-specific smells

Arts & Culture december 2, 2016

Interactive Film Tells A Story About Living With Cancer

A moving song written by a father of a cancer patient comes alive in a 3D environment

PSFK LABS REPORT

Future Of Work
Cultivating The Next Generation Of Leaders
NEW

Automotive december 2, 2016

Audi And LEGO Exhibit Autonomous Vehicle Installation

The installation at Design Miami explores the 25th hour, which represents bonus productive work or play time

Gaming & Play december 2, 2016

This Game Lets You Be A Pilot In The Drone Racing League

DRL Racing Simulator recreates actual courses in a virtual environment

Travel december 1, 2016

Hotel Chain Is Giving Away Its Not-So-Super Hotel Art At Art Basel

A lesson in how to advertise a kitschy-to-cool redesign in the middle of Miami Art Week

No search results found.