George Parker: Go Daddy Go!

Last week, in my column “Managing Expectations” I wrote about the contrast between the ways Apple controlled the conversation prior to the launch of the iPad, versus the way that increasingly, the TV spots on the Super Bowl have been run to death before the event actually takes place. At the time of writing, 2.30 PM on Sunday February 7th, kick off time is still two hours away, but the pre-game shows have been running since 7.00AM this morning. This means that most of the rabid fans are so shitfaced by now, they’ll probably pass out before anyone touches the ball.

But the big news happened Saturday… Danica Patrick finished sixth in her first ARCA series stock car race. The fact that there were five other women driving cars in the race never got a mention. After all, no one looks as hot as Danica in a bikini. Well actually, most of them, including Leilani Munter and Milka Duno do. But they don’t have a big fact contract with GoDaddy, a company that never misses an opportunity to flash lots of cleavage during America’s biggest sporting event. In fact GoDaddy’s CEO has achieved massive exposure for the spots he’s had rejected, rather than the ones that have actually run.

A prime example of this strategy is this year’s banned spot “Lola’s,” an indescribable piece of crap featuring a retired football player who takes care of his dream to be a lingerie mogul thanks to GoDaddy’s fifty cent Web scam. Obviously, because Lola is into lingerie, we get lots of tits & ass shots, while Danica struts around in a tight-fitting, black leather jump suit, shilling for her employer. I’m not quite sure why CBS banned it, I’ve seen worse over the years, particularly from GoDaddy.

But the whole reason for this weeks rant is to point out that the really smart people out there are using social media to get massive publicity for TV spots they never intended to run in the first place. Why pay $3 million for air time, when you are surrounded by masses of “me-too” spots for look alike cars, watered down beer and cardboard pizzas. Why not make the spot you want (OK, the production costs you have to pay for,) then run the crap out of it on YouTube. Forget the Super Bowl. Meantime, the BDA big “branding experts” are conning their clients into running their spots into oblivion for weeks prior to the game, then spending millions to run them again on the Super Bowl after they’ve been completely devalued. Seems arse about face to me!

Then again, if GoDaddy was really smart, they would make all their spots so outrageous that not one of them would be acceptable to the networks on the day. Right now, they’ve produced five, four will run, “Lola’s” will not. And I will be prepared to bet that the banned one will be viewed far more times than the four that actually run. But, what the fuck do I know; I don’t have Danica Patrick running around my offices in a bikini.

Update: Watched the first forty minutes of the game. Danica gets a massage from a chick with massive breasts who wants’ to be a GoDaddy girl. So what else is new? Saw what seemed like twenty Bud Light spots. They all really, really sucked! The Google spot was the best thing on there.

George Parker is a guest columnist for psfk.com. He is the perpetrator of adscam.typepad.com, which is without doubt, one of the most foul and annoying, piss & vinegar ad blogs on the planet. He is the author of MadScam and his new book, The Ubiquitous Persuaders, which is currently setting the ether ablaze (and which you can order now on Amazon). He will continue to relentlessly promote the crap out of it until you are forced to stab yourself in the eyes with knitting needles.