George Parker: Be Bad… Be Great… Be Rich… Be a God… Be Steve Jobs!

George Parker is the perpetrator of adscam.typepad.com. Every week he shares his opinions on the advertising world with PSFK.

I did a recent post on AdScam pointing out that Sir Martin Sorrell (Or as I prefer to call him The Poisoned Dwarf) currently enjoys a yearly pay packet of £23 million, about $35 million, which is 550 times the size of an average WPP employee’s, at just £42,000, or $60 million. This huge discrepancy in pay scales between the poor wankers that actually create the wealth and those that fly around the world “downsizing” their operations for the sake of the relentless quarterly numbers, is not that rare these days, particularly in the US.

One of the reasons for this is that these Captains of Industry are often encouraged and supported by their boards, most of which have been hand picked and lavishly remunerated to accede to the CEO’s every whim. Even worse are the ones who when finally put out to pasture with a Turkish Potentate’s sized golden parachute, are paid millions more to give boiler plate speeches to collections of brain dead people who have paid thousands to attend a rubber chicken luncheon for the “Real Estate Federation of Upper Silesia.”

Even more pathetic is the way these people arrange their “extra compensation” in addition to their salary… Sorrell’s bonus payouts are structured so that even if WPP shares fall he still gets his payouts as long as competing companies’ shares fall even further. Even better, retired GE Chairman, Jack “Neutron” Welsh, in addition to millions in private jets and villas, receives free vitamin tablets monthly. These are rumored to include Viagra.

That’s why I laughed when I read all the coverage of the new “Davos”… Namely, last weeks SXSW shindig. All the heavy hitters are now having their private jets land in Austin for a few days so they can be hip and groovy while pretending to change the world by making incredibly boring speeches (Read “Twitter” Keynote here.) In common with Davos, or Cannes, or Timbuktu, nothing of any importance comes out of these Gabfests. While the people there for the music or movie scene are getting wasted, stoned and hopefully laid, the digerati are drinking wheat tea, pretending to be totally on, and Twittering their brains out to the people sat next to them.

Now you know why I love GodJobs. He wouldn’t be caught fucking dead at one of these things. He only goes to Apple events. You want to see Jobs… You have to go see him. Hey, he may even decide not to show up after you’ve landed your Gulfstream at San Jose for the third time. He doesn’t give a toss.

That’s why Steve Jobs is Bad… Great… Rich… And a God.

Everyone else (except me) is a wanker!

George Parker is a guest columnist for psfk.com. He is the perpetrator of adscam.typepad.com, which is without doubt, one of the most foul and annoying, piss & vinegar ad blogs on the planet. He is the author of MadScam and his new book, The Ubiquitous Persuaders, which is currently setting the ether ablaze (and which you can order now on Amazon). He will continue to relentlessly promote the crap out of it until you are forced to stab yourself in the eyes with knitting needles.

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