George Parker: The Shrek Effect!

George Parker: The Shrek Effect!

George Parker is the perpetrator of Every week he shares his opinions on the advertising world with PSFK.

George Parker
  • 8 june 2010

I did a post on AdScam a couple of days ago about the BP oil leak (when will the media realize it’s not a “spill,” it’s a gigantic leak!) and how it offered further proof of my long held belief that the majority of ad agencies and PR shysters are whores, ready to sell their first born into slavery and force their wives into prostitution if it will help pay their holding company management’s obscene salaries and “performance” bonuses… Best illustrated by the extreme case of Omnicom CEO, John Wren’s $45 million “Golden Coffin” award, artfully crafted so the money keeps rolling in long after the Obersturmbahnfuehrer has gone to the giant holding company in the sky.

BP’s pathetic new ad campaign is claiming that they really, really care, and will do everything in their power to make everything lovely again. So, why do I, and the majority of the US population think these bozos are full of shit? Simple, it’s based on their track record. And no, this isn’t a rant about the evils of corporate America; it’s a rant about the stupidity of corporate America.

This is proven every day. Only last week it was all over the media that the Shrek glasses sold at McDonald’s for $2 a pop, when you order your lard filled FatBurger, contain Cadmium, a carcinogenic element, likely to cause children’s heads to explode shortly after their liver explodes as a result of the aforementioned FatBurger. Right now, Ronald McDonald has ordered the recall of 12 million collectible glasses. So I guess the Chinese supplier of this carcinogenic drek, has gone back to making “iPads to die for.”

Which gives me a nice segue into the latest insane statement of GodJobs… Sorry Piers, there goes half your audience… When it was pointed out to his holiness that many of the workers at the Chinese factory contracted to manufacture the “strokeable gizmo of the future” were being driven to suicide ‘cos they had to work 26 hours a day, with one bathroom break every two weeks, and could be expected to be happy, fat and lazy on about 50 dollars a month… He replied, “What’s wrong with these fuckers… It’s a nice factory with restaurants and swimming pools, dog exercise areas and giant pictures of me and Chairman Mao.” Well, apart from the fact that I am sure he’s never been to inspect the place; doesn’t he know that the dogs are being exercised before being served in the restaurants? Yeah, I know, that’s Korea… But don’t stop me mid-rant.

All I’m saying is that the upper management of most companies – And that applies, not just in America, but globally. – Are completely out of touch with ordinary people. Which should not come as too much of a surprise, ‘cos whilst making more money than Croesus, they never actually interact with ordinary folks, apart from the ones who park their cars at the country club. Never forget, this is a bunch of people who believe they are doing God’s work whilst pushing the country over the edge of a precipice. So yes, they may be incorrigible, but that’s expected. However, there is no excuse for their so-called communications experts, whether advertising agencies or PR douchenozzles, tasked by their clients to manage the crisis du jour, whilst continuing to take their clients money based on the pathetic proposition they can actually change the public’s belief that their clients are a bunch of snot-gobbling fucktards.

But hey, BP, I’m an AdHo, I’ll work for millions. Call me.

George Parker is a guest columnist for He is the perpetrator of, which is without doubt, one of the most foul and annoying, piss & vinegar ad blogs on the planet. He is the author of MadScam and his new book, The Ubiquitous Persuaders, which is currently setting the ether ablaze (and which you can order now on Amazon). He will continue to relentlessly promote the crap out of it until you are forced to stab yourself in the eyes with knitting needles.


Fitness Advocate: Paving The Future of Workouts With Audio

Fitness & Sport
Syndicated Today

Artificial Intelligence Could Serve As A Judge In The Court Of The Future

A new software program can weigh up legal evidence and more questions of right and wrong to predict the outcome of trials

Brand Development Yesterday

Swipe Left On A Dating World Built To Keep You Single And Disconnected

Hinge's VP of Marketing Karen Fein tells us about the service's daring ditch of the swiping culture that's designed to attract advertising revenue, not meaningful connections


Get PSFK's Related Report: Sports Debrief

See All
Arts & Culture Yesterday

Marvel Comic Tells The Story Of A Heroic Syrian Mother

Madaya Mom is the true tale of a family trapped inside a town for over a year

Retail Yesterday

Brooklyn Cafe Lets Customers Pay By The Hour, Not By The Cup

Glasshour is an establishment that provides free coffee and pastries and charges for the time guests spend there

Related Expert

Bertrand Charrier

Architecture Design, Temporary Architecture Installations

Technology Yesterday

Electric Spoon Changes The Way Food Tastes

The Taste Buddy is being developed to manipulate your taste buds and make everything more delicious

Travel Yesterday

Bike Path In Poland Can Glow For 20 Years Using Solar Power

Cyclists can follow the shimmering blue lanes for better safety each time they ride

Technology Yesterday

Open-Source Toolkit Lets Communities Build Their Own Street Furniture

The Wikiblock database contains 30 blueprints of different neighborhood fixtures including benches, bus stops, and kiosks


Future Of Automotive
Scenarios Driving The Digital Transformation Of An Industry

PSFK Op-Ed october 21, 2016

Health Expert: Nutritional Meal Replacements Are A Solution To Corporate Wellness

Ample Foods Founder Connor Young explains why supplements are the next food trend coming to the workplace

PSFK Labs october 21, 2016

PSFK Picks: Top 5 Performance-Enhancing Wearables

Our new report looks at innovations pioneering the future of performance through intelligent activewear and predictive analytics

Food Yesterday

Tiny Pub Only Has Space For Three People

Make Time For It is a small London pop-up bar that encourages conversation without the distraction of technology

Work Yesterday

Community Builder: How to Hack Slack

Claire Wasserman, Founder of Ladies Get Paid, describes how she's using an internal team communication tool to build a network of thousands

Advertising Yesterday

This Beer Was Brewed Just For Scotch Drinkers

Highland Park Scotch Whisky & Sixpoint Brewery have teamed up to create two limited-edition pairings for New York City boilermakers

Mobile Yesterday

Let An AI Librarian Help Sort Your Digital Bookmarks

A new app uses machine learning to help organize your virtual life

Mobile Yesterday

Pizza Hut Tattoo Lets You Place An Order From Your Body

The latest gimmick from the fast-food chain is a tattoo-like sticker that lets customers get delivery with a simple tap on their arm

Travel Yesterday

Reinvented Bicycle Inspired By Supercar Design

The yellow bike based on a Lamborghini has sharp edges and an aluminum alloy frame

Health Yesterday

Health Platform Gives Perspective On Your Weekly Habits

Gyroscope is a new wellness app that works by amalgamating data about your life into beautifully designed visuals

Beauty Yesterday

Korean Beauty Brand Uses VR To Let Customers Pick Their Ingredients

Innisfree created a unique experience for its Shanghai Disneyland customers with a virtual reality trip to select what goes into their purchase

No search results found.