menu

George Parker: Apple / The Horror

George Parker: Apple / The Horror
Advertising

George Parker is the perpetrator of adscam.typepad.com. Every week he shares his opinions on the advertising world with PSFK.

George Parker
  • 20 july 2010

Readers of my blog, AdScam, may have noticed that its full title is… AdScam/The Horror. Not only is this an homage to Colonel Kurtz in the last great film famed winemaker, Francis Ford Coppola blew millions on, it is also a reflection on what I primarily write about. i.e. The current fucked up state of the advertising business.

But because of the aforementioned state of the ad biz, and its increasingly desperate condition, I often cast my net wider (hey, it’s my fucking blog) writing about stuff on the fringes of advertising, marketing and social-nozzelry, that either interest me, or more often than not, piss me off. Take for instance the current kerfuffle surrounding the “death grip” problem that causes owners of the new Jesus Phone from Apple to lose their signal while tweeting about when they had their last bowel movement.

I’ve worked on the Apple account, off and on over the years, with my first experience on the launch of the Lisa… The Wha? You ask. Yes, the long forgotten precursor to the Mac, that cost a mere ten thousand dollars in 1962, when the dollar was actually worth something. I have closely followed the saga of Apple over the years, even those when GodJobs went off to create the Next, and the company was almost destroyed by the incompetents left in charge.

I’ll be the first to admit Steve Jobs is brilliant, but he is also extremely weird, and most definitely pig headed. The current story going the rounds is that he knew about the signal problems that would occur by placing the antenna at the phones edge. But because Steve always does things his way, he ignored the advice of the engineers and pressed ahead with the design of his choice, because it was esthetically more pleasing.

A well known chapter in the encyclopedia of Apple lore is about the time when the engineer responsible for the design of the motherboard for the first Mac, showed the prototype to Steve and Steve hated it, ‘cos he said it was ugly. The engineer protested on the basis that because of the Mac’s closed architecture, obviously, no one would ever see it. Flying into one of his famous tantrums, Steve screamed, “I’ll fucking see it. Go make it beautiful!” Obviously, being a loyal, eighty hours a week Appletard, the engineer did so.

In true GodJobs style, Steve convened a press conference last week to announce to the assembled acolytes that’s there’s nothing wrong with the iPhone 4 that isn’t wrong with its rivals. A statement that severely pissed off all the other makers of smartphones. Not that Steve gives a shit. Just as he conveniently forgot that it was only a week earlier he claimed it was all due to a software problem that incorrectly showed signal strength to be better than it actually is. Still, now you can get a free “bumper” for your Jesus Phone, to which I have to ask what the fuck is a “bumper.” In Britain that’s what we call a “fender.”

But I have no doubt there are Apple freaks already camping out at Apple stores nationwide to be the first on their block with a iBumper. ‘Cos that’s what Apple freaks do.

Steverino… What a guy!

George Parker is a guest columnist for psfk.com. He is the perpetrator of adscam.typepad.com, which is without doubt, one of the most foul and annoying, piss & vinegar ad blogs on the planet. He is the author of MadScam and his new book, The Ubiquitous Persuaders, which is currently setting the ether ablaze (and which you can order now on Amazon). He will continue to relentlessly promote the crap out of it until you are forced to stab yourself in the eyes with knitting needles.

Advertising
Trending

Japanese Face Wash Creates A Perfect Rose Every Time

Arts & Culture
Mobile august 26, 2016

Get A Better Idea Of How You Are Wasting Your Time

The TouchTime app is trying to revolutionize personal task management by providing detailed insight on how to be more efficient

Culture august 26, 2016

London Telephone Box Repurposed As A Tiny Mobile Repair Shop

Tools and supplies to replace broken screens or damage are neatly stowed away in these micro-workrooms

Trending

Get PSFK's Latest Report: Future of Retail: Technology Primer

See All
Design august 26, 2016

Conceptual Sportswear Created Out Of Futuristic Condom Material

A Dutch fashion designer is experimenting with new methods and fabrics to make high performance clothing

Fashion august 26, 2016

Fashionable Tassel Will Ensure You Never Lose Your Valuables Again

The device is fashion meets connected tech, that will help you keep track of your belongings at all times

PURPLELIST EXPERTS

David Polinchock

Emerging Technologies

Syndicated august 26, 2016

Would You Wear Wool Shoes To Save The Environment?

As demand for wool shoes grows, a number of US footwear brands are heading directly to the source: the sheep pastures of New Zealand

Sustainability august 26, 2016

Self-Healing Material Is Fashioned Out Of Squid Teeth

Penn State researchers have devised a new textile that uses organic proteins

Arts & Culture august 26, 2016

Search Engine Turns Your Own Drawings Into Photos

This image-matching software accepts hand-made sketches instead of keywords

PSFK LABS REPORT

Future Of Work
Cultivating The Next Generation Of Leaders
NEW

PSFK Op-Ed august 24, 2016

Why Building Better Offices Is The Key To Employee Engagement

Interaction Designer and Audio-visual Technologist at ESI Design illustrates the value in creating environments filled with surprise and delight

PSFK Labs august 25, 2016

PSFK’s Workplace Vision: How The Nurturing Of Seeds Will Come To Define The Onboarding Process

Our Future of Work vision is a service that allows companies to assemble and deliver welcome packets that are uniquely focused on the concept of growth

Arts & Culture august 26, 2016

Illustrator Interprets The Experiences Of Blind Travelers

Artist Alby Letoy creates drawings of poignant travel memories for the visually impaired

Advertising august 26, 2016

Clickbait Titles Used For The Good Of Charity

An agency devised an unlikely campaign that uses clickbait as a positive force to drive awareness to nonprofit initiatives

Advertising august 26, 2016

The Best In Eye-Catching Olympics Campaigns

PSFK rounds out the Rio Games with our picks for the best advertising moments off the field

Work august 26, 2016

Editorial Roundtable: The Arrival Of The People-First Workplace

Managed By Q, Soma, Workbar, Primary and thinkPARALLAX enumerate the reasons why companies need an employee-embracing workforce in order to exist

Arts & Culture august 26, 2016

Transforming Light Waves Into A New Art Form

An artist uses glass treated with layers of metallic coatings to create a unique installation called lightpaintings

INSIGHTS COVERAGE

Rio Olympics
Innovation Coverage From The Rio Games
READ NOW

Design august 26, 2016

This Windbreaker Lets You Explore The Outdoors While Charging Your Phone

The apparel includes solar panels that allow the wearer to stay connected through the power of renewable energy

Asia august 26, 2016

The Goal Of This Game Is To Not Get Laid Off From Your Job

A hit mobile app has you working really, really hard to not get fired as you climb the corporate ladder

Advertising august 26, 2016

Movie Critic Bot Guides Viewers Through Festival Offerings

The Toronto International Film Festival has created a Facebook Messenger chatbot to help attendants curate their schedule

No search results found.