Living as I do in Boise, Idaho, the best part of my day is the five minutes it takes me to read the local paper, The Idaho Statesman. I always start with the letters to the editor, which I describe as the comic section, ‘cos all the letters are about second amendment rights, black helicopters and how the president is a fascist/communist/Muslim/Buddhist. I leave the front page till last, as it is dominated, every fucking day of the year, with news about the Boise State University football team, otherwise known as the “Bronco’s.” These are the guys who play on a blue pitch, otherwise known as “Smurf Turf,” inside a stadium glorying in the name, Taco Bell Arena.
Anyway, there was an intriguing item on today’s front page about a lady who had been laid off by Micron, a local high tech company famous for posting more consecutive losing quarters than any other company in US business history. Apparently as part of her severance package, she was guaranteed the cost of pursuing an advanced degree. She applied for Boise State Universities’ “Executive” MBA program at a cost of $41,000. Than she was told that she could only apply for the regular MBA program, which costs $14,000. Being somewhat pissed, she took legal action, and now the case has just been dismissed, ‘cos the judges decided that both programs were the same!
Which proves what I’ve been saying for years, an MBA degree is a joke, and anyone who studies for one is a wanker… OK, strong words, but I’ve had the misfortune of working with hundreds of them over the years… And everyone was a wanker. Conclusive proof that I am right. Don’t believe me? Ask yourself this… How many of the high flyers in the financial world, who have recently dragged the world economy to the brink of disaster, are MBA’s, who’ve spent years studying economics and other boring shit? Virtually all of them.
What has this to do with advertising and marketing? Why everything. Think back ten years to the dot-com boom which was when MBA’s were coming up with “brilliant” ideas for online companies. They convinced the venture capitalists (also a bunch of MBA’s) to put up millions for the dumbest fucking ideas, then spent hours in meetings blowing hot air, doing mind numbing Power Point presentations, drawing up financial charts, and coming up with marketing plans. Implementation and execution was considered so unimportant that they took it for granted some “geek” would polish their turd. The reality was that execution was where they usually failed. Think boo.com. Meanwhile, the grunts built websites that survived and succeeded like Google, EBay and Yahoo.
Right now, there are more than 1500 schools offering MBA degrees, worldwide. You can even get one at the Pyongyang University of Science and Technology (PUST). Yes, that’s Pyongyang, as in North Korea. No doubt, on graduation day, the “Dear Leader” will hand you your diploma. But then you have to figure out how to escape the country.
I told you MBA’s are wankers, remember?
George Parker is a guest columnist for psfk.com. He is the perpetrator of adscam.typepad.com, which is without doubt, one of the most foul and annoying, piss & vinegar ad blogs on the planet. He is the author of MadScam and his new book, The Ubiquitous Persuaders, which is currently setting the ether ablaze (and which you can order now on Amazon). He will continue to relentlessly promote the crap out of it until you are forced to stab yourself in the eyes with knitting needles.