George Parker: Whatever Happened To The Paperless Office?

George Parker is the perpetrator of adscam.typepad.com. Every week he shares his opinions on the advertising world with PSFK

I always read The Economist, ‘cos I’m smart, clever, handsome, like to demonstrate my witty and erudite understanding of everything, and I invariably carry a big stick. (Esoteric reference to one of the great ad campaigns of all, fucking time. Check it out.) I am also, not on a horse. Anyway, as part of a recent, Economist “Technology Quarterly” issue, there was a feature on the current state of printing and how the costs and environmental impact of office printers are kicking the shit out of office expenditures. Yes, because even though printers are dirt cheap now, and you can get one thrown in if you buy a box of corn flakes, the villains who manufacture them are making the big bucks on ink and cartridges. Most of which are only half full when you buy them.

But the real heavy duty cost is paper; yes the stuff we are destroying the Amazon rain forests to produce. Consumption peaked in 2001, but it has only declined marginally since then, and the average is till upwards of 150 pounds of paper per worker per year. Yeah, 150 pounds… That’s more than the weight of Lady Gaga, even in her one hundred percent meat dress!

Yet for nearly thirty years all those pundits who profess to be able to forecast the future (Faith Popcorn, etc.) have been telling us that we are about to enter the era of the “paperless office.” I even have a tear sheet from a long dead PC magazine of the eighties with an article written by Bill Gates claiming that this wondrous event was about to happen. And here we are thirty years later, and we’re still waiting.

Perhaps with the current, overbearing hoopla about mobile devises and computing on the run, paper profligacy will eventually become a thing of the past… But, you know what? I don’t think so. Remember my recent column about the fucktards of Power Point and their love of monstrous decks? Those same kinds of people will always be with us. Throughout history they created humungous piles of clay tablets, mountains of papyrus scrolls, and libraries of illuminated manuscripts. These are the same people who maintain warehouses full of medical records, rather than digitizing everything… “Cos it justifies their pathetic fucking existence.

Anyway, I’m looking forward to the blog-less future of PSFK.

But then you’d miss me… Wouldn’t you???

George Parker is a guest columnist for psfk.com. He is the perpetrator of adscam.typepad.com, which is without doubt, one of the most foul and annoying, piss & vinegar ad blogs on the planet. He is the author of MadScam and his new book, The Ubiquitous Persuaders, which is currently setting the ether ablaze (and which you can order now on Amazon). He will continue to relentlessly promote the crap out of it until you are forced to stab yourself in the eyes with knitting needles.

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