Jean Hannah Edelstein: Why Facebook Introduced Couple Pages

Jean Hannah Edelstein: Why Facebook Introduced Couple Pages

One Guardian writer is not as disgusted by Facebook's relationship timelines as everyone else, and here's why.

Jean Hannah Edelstein, Guardian
  • 16 november 2012

Powered by
This article titled “Facebook wants to organise our relationships. What’s not to like?” was written by Jean Hannah Edelstein, for on Wednesday 14th November 2012 11.00 UTC

This week’s announcement that Facebook has launched pages for couples, automatically sorting photos and other posts involving a loved-up pair into one scrolling timeline, has proved to be controversial. Writing in the Telegraph, the women’s editor, Emma Barnett, even declared that she was so disgusted by her joint page with her husband that she might Facebook-break up with him, out of spite. But unlike Barnett, I welcome this development.

For while I have never yet published my relationship status on Facebook in the seven years I’ve had a profile, I live in the hope that one day I might meet someone with whom I share such a profound connection that I can post photo after photo that we’ve taken of ourselves on holiday, snogging in front of Unesco world heritage sites or on beaches that everyone knows are expensive to get to.

The angle will be flattering, what with the photo being shot from the maximum height of his extended arm, and I’ll be on the left (my good side), because statistics dictate that he’ll probably be right-handed. “Alway’s remember that special day in Malaysia babe! xxxx” he’ll write underneath it when we get home, and I’ll “like” that, even though he’ll have got the apostrophe wrong and I’ll be a bit afraid that my former neighbour, or that woman I worked with at that job I had at that place that one time in 2006, might see the error and judge me, and also him.

It will be great when the man with whom I share a profound connection and I move from “In a relationship” to “Engaged”, because we’ll be able to share the album from our engagement photoshoot. We’ll pose in a motif that is at once edgy and yet representative of our unique relationship, maybe standing in the parking lot of our favourite supermarket or cavorting in a field with puppies. There will be a classic shot – you know the one, where he is staring at me like I’m his favourite kind of cheese, and I’m gazing at the camera, serene and, OK, a little smug – and I’ll use it for my profile photo. No, my cover photo. No, my profile photo.

Of course, our engagement Facebook album will just be the warm-up for the wedding. Because, although we will have to wait until after the ceremony to update our status to “Married”, our friends will be live-posting the shit out of it on their smartphones. Which will be great, because it means that everyone who didn’t get invited to the wedding will be able to congratulate us in near real-time – people like the girl who beat me for the second lead in the school play, and this one kid I used to babysit. And, most importantly, all of my ex-boyfriends, who will see how happy I am with my Facebook-worthy husband standing behind me with his arms around my waist, because that’s the way that people stand when they get married. The ex-boyfriends will be filled with hot, prompt regret.

And then we’ll go on honeymoon. We’ll post photos of our newly wedding-ringed hands holding forks as we eat airplane food. We’ll put up photos that are similar to some of the ones that I mentioned earlier, except that they’ll be on a more expensive island, and maybe we’ll post a photo taken at an angle that makes it look like we’re naked together under some kind of a mosquito net because, you know, honeymoon, right? LOL! I’ll write a wink emoticon underneath so everyone gets it, especially some girl I went to summer camp with in 1996 and my third cousin, who I’ve met twice. And then when we get home I’ll update my status to something like “I am the happiest girl alive!!!” and while I wait to see if I am pregnant I’ll just go to and scroll back through all the memories while playing The Way We Were by Barbra Streisand, on loop.

But, until the day I type all this on, it will just go to the page of basic information about me, like where I went to university and what my job is. Which is quite like when I was the only single cousin at my younger sister’s wedding last summer, and people kept saying, “You’ll find someone!” and then congratulating me on my interesting career. Thanks for that, Facebook. Thanks a lot. © Guardian News & Media Limited 2010

Published via the Guardian News Feed plugin for WordPress.


Wearable Tech Expert: Designing Technology To Empower Connection To Ourselves

Syndicated Yesterday

Museum Exhibit Celebrates Strange Architectural Contraptions

Artist William Heath Robinson's peculiar genius is on display in this recent show with wiggling ducts, jumbles of planks and coils of cable

Technology Yesterday

This Sensor Will Help You Brew The Perfect Cup Of Tea Every Time

42Tea is a small device that guides you through every step of the brewing process, even identifying the type of leaves being used


Get PSFK's Related Report: Future of Automotive

See All
Design & Architecture Yesterday

Norwegian Mountaineering Center Mimics A Snow-Capped Mountain

The structure's exterior is clad in a uniform surface of pixels to create a unique climbing experience

Related Expert

Sean Bartlett

Digital Experience

Sustainability Yesterday

Giant Coffee Cups Encourage People To Recycle Their Morning Cup Of Joe

The Hubbub Foundation has created a set of themed bins meant to inspire recycling on a large scale

Home Yesterday

Small Device Creates A Personal Weather Station Inside In Your Home

Netatmo's new sensor is a standalone air quality monitor that can measure humidity, purity, noise and temperature

Travel Yesterday

Advertising Proposal Aims To Be The Most “Instagrammable Billboard In The World”

The Belltower in Los Angeles would allow video advertising and live event streaming, and include a pedestrian plaza for visitors


Future Of Automotive
Scenarios Driving The Digital Transformation Of An Industry

PSFK Op-Ed october 14, 2016

Everything I Know About Leadership I Learned Teaching 7th Grade Math

Bree Groff, Managing Director at NOBL NYC, shares her secrets for knowing your employees and enabling a team

PSFK Labs october 12, 2016

PSFK Picks: Top 5 Performance-Enhancing Wearables

Our new report looks at innovations pioneering the future of performance through intelligent activewear and predictive analytics

Design & Architecture Yesterday

Easy-To-Build Shelter Offers A Quick Way To Put A Roof Above Your Head

The structure designed by studio Duffy London has applications in disaster relief or first-aid

Beauty Yesterday

L’Oréal Wants To Help Visually Impaired Women Apply Makeup

The cosmetics brand has developed a series of audio tutorials for Brazilian consumers with reduced sight

Travel Yesterday

Drone-Powered Hotel Concept Could Radically Redefine Vacations

These unique pods would allow guests to visit a variety of locales over a period of several days

Automotive Yesterday

Pitch Your Startup Idea To Fellow Uber Passengers

A new promotion on the ridesharing service's POOL feature lets select riders compete for a $5,000 investment from prominent venture capitalists

Work Yesterday

Busy Office Managers Can Rely Upon A Digital Concierge To Help Offload Tasks

MEET is a service that automates the process of everyday tasks such as pantry and printer reordering, so employees can focus on more important work

Media & Publishing Yesterday

Design Series Turns Emojis Into A Coffee Table Book

The Emoji Book will be comprised of different artist interpretations of the ubiquitous symbols

Health Yesterday

These Pajamas Are Promising A Better Night’s Sleep

Recliner's new collection is made for those looking for a better way to get quality shut-eye

Food Yesterday

Cook An Entire Pizza On Your Stovetop

This compact kitchen appliance lets people bake a homemade pie without the need for an oven

No search results found.