You may have heard the rather amazing news over the last few days about Gillette's amazing leap in innovation. After months of planning or something, scientists have developed an evolution...

You may have heard the rather amazing news over the last few days about Gillette’s amazing leap in innovation. After months of planning or something, scientists have developed an evolution in razor design: move aside three bladed Mach 3 – here comes five bladed Fusion. Count ’em! One, two, three, four, five!

What is more amazing is that the Onion newspaper predicted the launch 18 months ago with an ‘interview’ with the CEO of Gillette:

"The Gillette Mach3 was the razor to own. Then the other guy came out with a three-blade razor. Were we scared? Hell, no. Because we hit back with a little thing called the Mach3Turbo. That’s three blades and an aloe strip. For moisture. But you know what happened next? Shut up, I’m telling you what happened—the bastards went to four blades. Now we’re standing around with our cocks in our hands, selling three blades and a strip. Moisture or no, suddenly we’re the chumps. Well, fuck it. We’re going to five blades."

PREMIUM SUBSCRIPTION CONTENT
This content is available for Premium Subscribers only.
Already a subscriber? Log in