LA Weekly has taken a (semi-serious) critical lens to Coachella, the much-hyped music festival to be held in Indio, CA from April 25-27, to bring attention to some interesting facts about this year’s offerings and trends in the music industry as a whole. Though their nifty graphs are pretty self-explanatory, here’s a summary of their findings as well as some of their amusing extrapolations:

This year’s lineup includes more than four times as many men than women (which the author attributes to men’s “drive for surrogate mommies’ attention” – which means they will do anything for a bit of affection, including “bare their emo-infested souls in front of total strangers” Whites make up nearly 87% of this year’s roster, while Blacks and Latinos together account for 12%, and Asians are represented by the 1% of the lineup that is M.I.A. (who is ethnically Sri Lankan but was raised in England) 1/4 of the acts showcasing belong to major record labels, while the rest fall under indie/self-rule – a trend which LA Weekly sees as strengthening in the near future: “Expect in the years to come that Pac-Man’s mouth [non-major label acts] will eat further and further into the last remaining slice of the Coachella pie.” This year’s major label artists still reign in the YouTube world, though: “The majors have a per capita YouTube click advantage: The 32 major-label acts averaged 1,702,169 clicks, with Yelle, Kate Nash and Serj Tankian at the head of the herd. Indie bands averaged a mere 465,112, with the defiantly independent Enter Shikari and Justice in front.” If headling acts were determined by YouTube popularity, Justice, Yelle, Kate Nash, Serj Tankian, and Mark Ronson would take the place of Prince, Kraftwerk, Portishead, Jack Johnson, and Roger Waters.

For more interesting stats, check out the full list, which includes the writer’s highy unscientific but nonetheless compelling breakdown of the hierarchy of this year’s bands’/artists’ monikers, the lowest rating going to the categorically “dumb as hell” names “Slightly Stoopid” and “Does it Offend You, Yeah?”.

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