A balloon dog, a shiny red chocolate heart, and a silhouette of Piglet from a “Winnie the Pooh” are looming large atop the Met. Some may say that the three giant steel sculptures by Pop artist Jeff Koons could have been done by their kids, but this is untrue, for several reasons:

They are much too large for a child to reach, let alone build. The New York Times described one as “loaded with…erotic perversity.” Let’s hope your kid isn’t. Winnie the Pooh is totally off the radar of the modern-day anklebiter. If it doesn’t plug in and have it’s own social network, it may as well be a stapler.

But what was Koons thinking? According to the New York Times, Sacred Heart (one of the sculptures) “acidly comments on the commercial debasement of emotional and religious experience” and Coloring Book “reflects the youth-obsessed infantilism of modern culture and society.”  As for Balloon Dog, the one filled with perversity, it’s a modern day Trojan Horse. Innocent on the outside, filled with Trojans on the inside. That is dirty.

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