A digest of the bodybuilder and the governor of California's aptly-named autobiography, Total Recall – from muscles all the way to movies.

This article titled “The shorter wit and wisdom of Arnold Schwarzenegger” was written by Emma Brockes, for guardian.co.uk on Tuesday 2nd October 2012 12.00 UTC

Like most profoundly unfunny people, Arnold Schwarzenegger is very proud of his sense of humour.

Hardly a page goes by in Total Recall, his whopping 650-page memoir, without a reference to some sticky situation he got out of through cunning use of deadpan or a passing zinger – for example, when he debated Arianna Huffington during the 2003 California gubernatorial race:

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