Taking On China’s Air Pollution Catastrophe with Bottled Air
Pollution is an epidemic that needs to be met with packaged oxygen
The company that seemingly appeared out of thin air is now selling it, and while the notion seems preposterous to say the least, the cause is anything but. Citing China’s severe air pollution, Vitality Air points to a quite serious issue among the nation’s cities: 80 percent of Chinese citizens currently live in conditions which astronomically exceed the US Environmental Protection Agency’s standard for tolerable air pollution levels.
Moreover, a whopping 17 percent of overall deaths in the country occur as a result—that’s an estimated 4,000 residents in any given day.
Looking to curb these horrid statistics, Vitality Air has launched a successful campaign (4,000 units are on their way, 1,000 of which have already been pre-sold) to market its product to China, using a ‘clean compression system’ to gather large batches of fresh air from Banff National Park and Lake Louise, the company then transfers the air to their headquarters where they can it in aluminum bottles complete with spray caps or built-in masks to ensure it doesn’t escape. A certificate of authenticity guarantees that each sip you take is native to a pristine Canadian mountainside and is therefore as pure as it gets.
The website advertises the bottled air as the perfect supplement for athletic performance, yoga, cramming for exams, marathon video gaming, and hangover recovery.
“Air and oxygen are sometimes used interchangeably, but the two things are actually different. Oxygen is a pure element, while the air people breathe is a mixture of elements,” reads the site.
“Air, which is heavily contaminated with particles in high concentrations, can damage lung tissue. Low quality can sometimes be physically seen in the form of smog, a heavy collection of hydrocarbons in the atmosphere.”
From the scenic lakesides to your lungs, Vitality Air tests every batch it outputs and cherry-picks its distributors to ensure every can offers premium quality. Though packaging oxygen surely won’t fix China’s pollution, it can definitely help a select few extend their life by introducing a pure gulp of air or two.