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Used Car Salesman Writes Short Stories Within Auto Classified Ads

Used Car Salesman Writes Short Stories Within Auto Classified Ads
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Mohegan Lake Audi's Internet Manager gives readers a humorous peek behind-the-scenes working at the dealership.

Dave Pinter, PSFK
  • 13 july 2011

For more proof that the truly creative are unstoppable, here’s the work of Z. Szymanski, Internet Manager for Mohegan Lake Audi in New York. Not content with the normal dry writing that describes most used cars in classified ads, Szymanski has interwoven short stories into dozens of ads for pre-owned Audi’s the dealership has posted which ironically make fun of selling used Audis. Jalopnik has selected a few of examples which chronicle the behind the scenes goings-on of many of the employees at Mohegan Lake Audi. Here’s an example which features the author:

Recently some of my writings were read at an Audi Used Vehicle training meeting… really!! And… I wasn’t thrilled that they referred to the writings as ‘over the top.’ So first off, let me say that they Do Not have my permission to reread my writings and second… OVER THE TOP?? Let me tell you what’s OVER THE TOP…. Audi giving me tickets to the Yankees vs. Detroit game.. and my seats are beyond the UTZ Sign… If I knew I was sitting there… I would have brought a ‘P’ with me to hang over the sign. So I will not accept any Yankee tickets… unless they are to the Audi Club… I will not accept anything less than Box Seats… I insist on preferred parking and I would like unlimited beverage refills. Non-negotiable… Not open for discussion. So now that I’ve ventilated… I will be PC.. this 7 passenger Q-7 is nice.. it is very nice. It is big… it is very big. It has leather.. leather on everything. it has Navigation.. I could have used Audi Navigation to find my Audi Seat in Yankee Sadium… backup camera.. so you can look at your back when you back up. It is Audi Certified.. so that means it’s Certifed. It is a good buy.. it is a steal.. it is a big steal at $37,995. You should buy this Q-7. Written according to Audi CPO Guidelines. So now that everyone at Audi is happy… we are no longer ‘over the top’ but ‘writing between the lines’, when can I expect my NEW and IMPROVED Certified Audi Yankee tickets? And now because Mr. Paul our CPO (Big Shot) Manager wants to win two bleacher seats worth $30 to a Yankee game, he’s dropped the price a cool $2000…makes good sense .. a $2000 reduction for $30 seats.

[photo via valerievirginia]

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